If I Had Legs I'd Kick You poster

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You

"Everything is under control."

Movie R 2025 1h 53m 6.5 /10
Directed by Mary Bronstein

Linda's world collapses around her as she wrestles with a child whose illness remains stubbornly unexplained, a husband who has vanished from daily life, and a missing person case that keeps tugging at her. On top of that strain, a cooling, increasingly hostile bond grows with her therapist, a... Read more

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Streaming availability last verified: February 03, 2026

About If I Had Legs I'd Kick You

Linda's world collapses around her as she wrestles with a child whose illness remains stubbornly unexplained, a husband who has vanished from daily life, and a missing person case that keeps tugging at her. On top of that strain, a cooling, increasingly hostile bond grows with her therapist, a dynamic that shifts from guarded to volatile. The film follows her through long nights and small, fragile breakthroughs as she fights to protect her family while trying to stay one step ahead of chaos. The pulse of the story comes from Linda's inner negotiation between fear and resolve, the people who appear in her orbit, and the stubborn hope that things can still be repaired.

Directed by Mary Bronstein, the drama appears to originate from an original screenplay rather than a book or prior material. The compact feature showcases a mainly contemporary cast, including Rose Byrne, Conan O'Brien, A$AP Rocky, Danielle Macdonald, and Delaney Quinn.

Box Office: The film earned about 1,346,808 in worldwide gross against a 1.5 million budget, marking a modest performance that likely found its audience through word of mouth and festival circuits rather than broad blockbuster reach in select markets globally.

Culture wise the film has sparked quiet conversations about how families cope with illness and the role of therapy in hard times. Viewers have commented on Rose Byrne and the unlikely pairing with Conan O'Brien in the therapist role, noting a curiosity about unconventional casting and its effects on realism. It invites debate about the ethics of narrative judgments and celebrity casting.

Reception is mixed, reflected in an average 6.59 out of 10 from 105 votes. The film foregrounds themes of vulnerability, resilience, and the chaos that accompanies illness in a family, while placing focus on how the burden shifts when trusted helpers show up and boundaries blur. The film asks what it costs to keep faith when things fall apart and who gets to claim the truth in a crowded room of fear and hope.

Details

Release Date
October 10, 2025
Runtime
1h 53m
Rating
R
User Ratings
144 votes
Type
Movie
Genres
Drama
Country
United States
Studio
A24 +3 more
Budget
$1,500,000
Box Office
$1,346,808
External Links
View on IMDB

Official Trailer

Cast

Rose Byrne

Rose Byrne

Linda

Conan O'Brien

Conan O'Brien

Therapist

A$AP Rocky

A$AP Rocky

James

Danielle Macdonald

Danielle Macdonald

Caroline

Delaney Quinn

Delaney Quinn

Child

Mary Bronstein

Mary Bronstein

Dr. Spring

Ivy Wolk

Ivy Wolk

Diana

Mark Stolzenberg

Mark Stolzenberg

Parking Attendant

Manu Narayan

Manu Narayan

Landlord

Christian Slater

Christian Slater

Father

Director: Mary Bronstein

Frequently Asked Questions

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You is available to stream on Max. You can also rent or buy it on Apple iTunes, Google Play, Vudu, and Amazon Video.

Yes, If I Had Legs I'd Kick You is available to stream on Max.

Yes, you can rent on Apple iTunes, Google Play, Vudu, and Amazon Video or buy on Apple iTunes, Google Play, Vudu, and Amazon Video.

With a rating of 6.5/10 from 144 viewers, If I Had Legs I'd Kick You is considered decent by viewers and may be worth checking out.

Linda's world collapses around her as she wrestles with a child whose illness remains stubbornly unexplained, a husband who has vanished from daily life, and a missing person case that keeps tugging at her. On top of that strain, a cooling, increasingly hostile bond grows with her therapist, a dy...

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You stars Rose Byrne, Conan O'Brien, A$AP Rocky, Danielle Macdonald, and Delaney Quinn.

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You was directed by Mary Bronstein.

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You was released on October 10, 2025.

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You is a Drama film.

It’s a drama centered on Linda as she copes with her child’s mysterious illness and a collapsing personal life. Her absent husband, a missing person, and a tense relationship with her therapist drive the tension.

Rose Byrne plays Linda. Linda is the central character whose life is unraveling as she faces her child's illness, an absent husband, and a tense relationship with her therapist.

Conan O'Brien plays the Therapist. The Therapist is a key figure in Linda's struggle as described in the synopsis.

The film was released in 2025. It carries an R rating.